It’s no secret that the bad dates are the most entertaining—from the awful kisser to the perverted jokester, many of us could write a book filled with our dating disaster stories.
While I agree it takes a long time to truly get to know someone, I also believe you can learn a lot of useful information on the first date. And not just superficial things like attractiveness and sense of style, but what makes him tick: his likes, dislikes, sense of humor and if you two share physical and mental chemistry.
There are the obvious signs to look for such as: Does he open the car door for you? Is he polite to the staff at the restaurant? Some red flags are easy to spot, but there are many we often overlook.
Here are five signs to look for to see if he’s worth pursuing:
His finger size
We’ve all heard the joke about what it means if a guy has big feet, but according to new research, shoe size is not what matters. Interestingly, the ratio of a man’s index finger to his ring finger can be an indicator of the type of date he will be.
If a man’s index finger is shorter than his ring finger, he is more likely to spend money to impress a woman such as buying flowers or paying for dinner.
“The difference in finger length is caused by the amount of estrogen and testosterone received in the womb,” reports Katherine Biek on Science Daily. “More testosterone means a shorter index finger compared to the ring finger and more estrogen leads to the opposite.”
He is curious about you
There’s nothing worse than being on a date with a narcissist who talks about himself for hours. Ask yourself: Is he curious about you, himself and the world in general?
Curious people make excellent conversationalists, thinking beyond the surface of what someone is saying and taking the discussion to the next level. If he is asking questions about your life, shows genuine interest when you respond, and lights up when he talks about his passions, then it is definitely worth scheduling a second date.
Think about it: Don’t you want a partner who cares about who you are and supports what you love? By being curious and wanting to learn more about you, he will invest time and energy toward building a deeper connection.
He looks at you, not his phone
In the digital age we live in, most of us are plugged in 24/7, but on a date, it’s disrespectful if he keeps checking his phone. While it’s true phones that keep us connected to the outside world, studies show that our electronic devices can also be damaging to interpersonal connection. Researchers found that the mere presence of your phone in a social setting impacts how you relate to others.
“Interacting in a neutral environment, without a cell phone nearby, seems to help foster closeness, connectedness, interpersonal trust, and perceptions of empathy — the building-blocks of relationships,” reports Helen Lee Lin of Scientific American.
The bottom line: If your date is focused on you and wants to impress you, he will keep his phone in his pocket, and be putting all of his effort into making sure you have an enjoyable experience.
Casual touching throughout the date
Did you touch his arm when he said something funny or complimentary? Did he reach across the table to touch your hand? These are body language cues, which not only convey physical attraction, but “on [an] unconscious level, touch seems to impart a subliminal sense of caring and connection,” according to Leonard Mlodinow, author of Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior.
You lose track of time
This is usually something you don’t consciously realize while you’re on the date, but as the night comes to an end, you’ll be surprised at how fast it went by. When you are truly in the present moment with someone you don’t think about time, work, stress or anything else.
According to research, “novel situations which are exciting, such as a dinner date with someone we find attractive, witty, and intelligent can lead to us losing ourselves, becoming absorbed in the event.” As it turns out, there is scientific reason why “time flies” when you’re having fun.
How does your date score on this list? Share your thoughts in the comments!