couple taking selfieWouldn’t it be great if you could see yourself and your own life the way others do? What would it be like if you could feel the way other people imagine you feel? My hunch is you’d feel pretty awesome because whether you realize it or not, from the outside, your life looks pretty darn good.

My guess is now you’re thinking something like, but I need to lose 10 pounds and find a new job. My husband needs to start giving me foot massages, go grocery shopping, and my kids need to stop whining. I need to go on a vacation somewhere tropical, and look good in a bathing suit. My mother-in-law needs to stop telling me what to do, I need more friends, and I have to find the perfect outfit for that party. I need to be an overnight success, and I shouldn’t have to work so hard. Or better yet, everything would just be easier if I win the lottery, fall in love at first sight, have all the free time in the world to do whatever I want, and everyone I meet loves and admires me.

The Science of HappinessMany people imagine that a life with whatever they desire, would automatically lead to constant happiness. People regularly assume the people who have what they want, are living on cloud nine. They think somehow they feel better about themselves because they have a more expensive bag, wear a smaller jeans size, or profess their love for their partner on social media.

It’s human nature to continuously yearn, which leads to dissatisfaction. I see so many people receive exactly what they wish for, and then find something else to complain about. It’s so easy to fall into this trap without even realizing it. Unless you make a conscious effort to focus on what you have, you will always be left thinking you got the short end of the stick.

You’d be surprised to know that person with the “perfect body,” who you assume must feel great all the time, may be wishing she was as successful as her friend. Her friend may be wishing she had the kind of relationship her employee has with her husband. Her employee may be envious of the new car her brother just bought, and her brother may feel insecure because his old college roommate just built a new house. This goes on and on and on. Do ya see where I’m going with this?

The truth is, you don’t know what is truly going on in people’s lives or how they feel on a day to day basis. Everything is relative, so pain is pain, and joy is joy, and the things and circumstances in everyone’s lives aren’t what make them feel How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Othersgood or bad. It’s people’s thinking that dictates how they feel, and I promise you if you live in a constant state of comparison, you will always feel crappy.

For some reason people tend to put others’ lives on pedestals. When you do that, you will never feel that you measure up. If you no longer wish to feel this way, all you have do is change the way you think about your own life. Stop being your life’s worst critic.

You can start loving your life today and feel how you assume others feel, by simply spending more time thinking about all of the good things in your life. Instead of wishing your abs were as flat as the person next to you at the beach, look at the ocean, breath the air, and feel the sand in between your toes. Instead of dreaming of your significant other doting all over you like your friend’s spouse, think about that time he or she surprised you with something special. Instead of wishing you were more successful, focus on what a hard worker you are and that you never give up.

If you’re anything like me, you don’t want to ever look back on today and wish you could’ve appreciated what you had more than you did. Feeling grateful doesn’t come naturally for most people, so it can take some practice. When my three year old is cranky, I often hear myself say, “What’s the matter? Life is good!” Focus on the good, pay attention to the simple pleasures, and appreciate what you have. You’re here, you’re alive, so try and make the most of it!!

 

To find out about Rose’s thoughts on how to live a happier life, click here

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