We have become accustomed to a new way of thinking, living and being together in a technological cocoon. We are covering up our real essence, shame and pain from the fear of being judged, rejected and alone. Despite all the advancements technology has achieved so far, you may have already come to your own conclusions on how we repeatedly forget the simple but very important truth of the healing power of contact, human touch and speaking our truth.
By design we are extraordinary, yet despite the fact we are living in a world of a super connected technological highway that can help us accelerate our human potential, the truth is far from that. Globally, many people are continuing to consciously or subconsciously choose to remain fearful and put up with having average lives, relationships, jobs, friends, family and bank accounts, leaving us feeling more alone then ever before.
Our survival depends on our ability to grow, innovate, connect, collaborate and work as one symbiotic system. Without contact there cannot be a connection, without connection there is no exchange, and without exchange of information our body, mind and heart would not be able to function; simply we would cease to exist. We would not be able to function as a family, nation or a society.
Our evolutionary advantage is our interconnected being that makes it possible for our heart, brain and organs to function, communicate, plan, reason and work together. Our survival, too, depends on our collective ability and not on our individual wants and needs. Through invisible forces that bind us together in an infinite universe, we are connected across all life spans to one another and to all that is.
For a social species, such as human beings, growing into adulthood isn’t about becoming autonomous and solitary, but rather the ones on whom others can depend. Our brain and biology have been shaped to favor this outcome, but our deceptive mind fights it in the attempt to self-guard the lies we have adopted as truths. In spite of this knowing, we continue to think, act, feel and behave in a way that leads us on a path to self-harm, self-destruction and feeling desperately alone.
This was the story of one of my senior executive clients who – on the outside, to everyone around him – was a very successful man who had everything going on for him. But on the inside, he was crumbling to pieces. As time went on he turned to drugs, alcohol and sex to numb his pain, hide his loneliness and cover up his truth.
For many of you, just like many clients who seek my help, unravelling, speaking and honoring your truth is one of the greatest hurdles to overcome. Reason being, with time passing by, the more you ignore this inner voice that speaks to you through your body, the more you start to experience fears of rejection, feelings of loneliness, and becoming uncertain of your decisions and what the future will hold for you.
All these patterns commence to shade your consciousness. As a result, you are starting to feel disconnected from your true essence, inner guidance and your heart’s intelligence. You exhibit challenging, inappropriate and volatile interactions toward self and others.
If not dealt with appropriately, this way of being fuels your fear instead of affirming the certainty required for you to strengthen your connections with your inner being, partner, family and humanity. You continue to fuel your relationship with self and others with doubtfulness, judgements and criticisms that create the welcome conditions for deep loneliness.
Feeling lonely in the relationship with self or others is determined by the subjective quality of the relationship we have with ourselves; if this relationship is of a poor quality then we develop a fear of not being worthy. It is an experience based on invoking our primitive emotions such as inflamed ego, lack of self-esteem and having insufficient cognitive integration.
As a result, we perceive others as less caring, less committed or less devoted than they really are. This is a reflection of our inner emotional hypotrophy; it is what makes us react with anger, become anxious and takes us on a path of self-isolation. We end up feeling lost in this vicious circle that makes us become less attached to the real source of love that rejuvenates our inner being, our relationships and helps us create more personal, social and global coherence.
Intrinsic factors, such as lack of self-love and self-worthiness, and insufficient self-respect, create a rigid and waxen attitude that transforms us into a persona non grata in our own loving symbiotic nest.
The lies you may have been fed, the skewed perceptions of who you think you are and the lack of contact with your true essence is what gives birth to the segregation you experience in the outer world. The more discrepancies you have in your life, the more you are engaging the functions of your lower mind – the part of the brain that regulates our survival fight or flight response. With time, you create many different identities that stop you from being able to distinguish the difference between your perceived self with your ideal authentic self.
To be connected, yet desperately feeling alone, reflects the hunger of your soul for a different way of being with self and others and for a different way of life that currently might not seem possible to you. It’s the distressed feeling that occurs when your personal, social, professional, financial and spiritual relationships are less satisfying than you desire.
When you lack clarity of your unique set of values, you close the doors to opportunities in life and say hello to the isolation and separation that the breakdown of communication creates. It paves the way to rock bottom; it is what led my client to seek my professional help to get him out of the deepest parts of the cave where darkness, fear and loneliness were his only companions.
My mission is to help people overcome life’s greatest adversity and learn how to build bridges instead of walls, consider how to enrich their despaired souls that are incarcerated by the dominant force of loneliness and help them on their journey to self-actualization.
Amor est vitae essentia – love is a vital energy.